Many thanks for taking the effort to do the poll on "Staying with In-Law". Out of the 28 of you who voted, only 4 voted to stay with their In-laws. So, I belongs to the majority who simply cannot accept the idea of staying with my in-laws.
What's the poll for?
I used it hoping to persuade my Emperor Qin (hubby) not to make any rash act but sad to say, Emperor Qin is a tyrant and I failed.
You see, we will be getting a bigger place for our family and the initial agreement with hubby was that it was meant for us only. Of course, when his parents are older and my MIL tamer then, I assured him that we will definitely "accept" them in to take care of them. But NOT NOW!
I was so looking forward to our new house when he suddenly announced during our extended family dinner gathering that his entire family will be coming over with us! That was absolutely the rudest shock I received this year! This meant that not only his parents will be joining us, but his 2 brothers and a teenage sister too! I was really furious!
I boycott him for the next few days till he finally sat down to discuss it again with me. After much persuasion, he gave in a little. The decision? His parents and teenage sister will be coming with us.
He is a filial man, I know. He wants to look after his parents and hope that our kids will see and learn too. He always says "You want your children to look after you when you are old, right?" Of course, I hope our kids will look after us when we are old but, frankly, I have never thought of staying with them. Just hope that they will come back and visit us once a week. Told him that its not easy to stay together and it will spoilt the relations and his answer to me was that I watched to many HongKong drama.
So if staying with PIL is not bad enough, I have to put up with his teenage sister which I totally cannot stand. I don't know why, she didn't do any thing wrong to me, but I just cannot bring myself to love her. I don't mind seeing her and having small chat with her, but NOT staying with her!
I tried explaining to hubby that he is making the wrong decision by forcing us to stay together. I told him my current relationship with his parents is good and told him not to risk it but he said he is willing to take the risk! *faint*
I am still sulking over his selfish decision to stay with his parents and sister and get really touchy whenever he mentioned about the new house and the impending move. He knows that I gave in a lot and thus whenever I snapped at him over this issue, he would "sayang" me and ask me to cool down.
But how to cool down?? He said that I will set the house's rule and his parents and sister will follow..Oh, come on?! How do you expect me to force my ILs to abide to my style of living and teaching/ handling of my kids?!! Even if his parents were to "follow", there will prone to be unhappiness.
Sometimes, I do ask myself, "Am I selfish? By doing this, am I not filial? Was I wrong not to stay with my IL?" But the fear of staying with them soon over took these "guilty" thoughts.
*sigh*..All I can do now is to pray hard for a miracle..Oh.Please, please help me change his mind.