Wednesday, December 30, 2009

My Rant

Its been nearly weeks and finally I'm able to write these unhappy events without getting too emotional or agitated.

Since we gotten our new place, my SIL and MIL had been the topic of our near daily arguments and both hubby and I are tired of it. Its not that I started the fire, its MIL and SIL that did. At the end of every visit by them, Hubby and I would end up arguing after they left and the last incident really is the last straw for me!

It all begin this way:

Before the idea of in-laws coming over to stay with us, we have ample rooms for everyone in our family... the girls will share one room while the boys in one. We even have a big study room for the kids and I to do our work + a guest room/ playroom.

So now, with in-laws and SIL coming, we (my kids and I) are left without an area to do our work. Yes, of course, the kids can study in the dining/living area, even their own room. But I need a place to work and hubby needs too when he is at home. Now we are sharing the same work area and he couldn't stand my style (I have lots of KIV and paper works, so desk is usually filled with papers and stuff). So, I suggested to "built" a room outside our bedroom at the balcony area while hubby pointed out that we can share the BIG room with SIL instead. I was reluctant.

Incident One

On the informal house warming night, they came over to tour the house. When they were in my room, I heard SIL commenting to her daddy "Oh! They (hubby and I) are so lucky! They even have a walk-in wardrobe!" This sentence was not said with envy but with jealous tone..(there's a different if you know what I mean). Oh..I forgot to add that currently SIL is taking the master bedroom in their own place.

That night when she was back at her house, she actually cried to MIL!! One must be very puzzled..why, since her room is already the biggest among all of us (she was told that the big room is hers). MIL told hubby that SIL was upset that my girls' room has all the nice built-in shelving and hers is so bare!!! Then MIL as usual tried to cover up for SIL by saying "She is just a kid".

When hubby told me this, I was puzzled and also boiling inside but kept my cool. She is not a kid anymore!! She is a teenager! A 14 years old girl!! Even my sister who is 1 year older than her would not have said such a thing!

We had given her a big room and yet she still make a fuss over it. So I told hubby the next night that I will take up his suggestion (to share the room with her). I know I did it out of spike and anger. Although she is such an ungrateful brat, I felt terrible inside that I have turn myself into Cinderella's stepmother. Felt so evil...guilty feeling?? I don't know but my thinking was that I am only allowing her to be with us till she turns 21 and out she goes..the most I gave her till 24 years old. I'm not going to have her till she decides to marry off..what if she doesn't?!

Incident Two

One week later, they came again and hubby broke the decision to them. Right away, MIL protested in her usual discreet way, telling hubby "This isn't very good idea, right? What if your sister make too much noise while the kids are studying? Also, you have 4 children. Think long term, with only that half, it would not be enough, isn't it?" Hubby kept quiet.

Then, they went downstairs and MIL suddenly suggested for us to built a study room at the side of the house instead. I heard everything and I told hubby off in front of MIL. That place is so hot, it would be a glass house effect! MIL kept quiet. She is very good in portraying a pathetic person. I was stupid to fall in the trap!

Hubby reprimanded me that night for shutting other people's kind suggestion. He said that MIL is just being nice and worried for the kids being disturb by SIL if they were to share the same room.

Since that night, we have been arguing on where the room should be. I know my stand was not make with clear cool mind but I just couldn't control my anger whenever I thought of what SIL said and how MIL maneuver the whole thing.

Hubby thinks that to make that as a bedroom will look funny but if its a study room, its good idea since it overlooking the garden. But I just don't want her to come up stairs and intrude into our private area.

We finally came to the conclusion to give it a try and plans were made to divide the room.

Then came the finally straw!!

Incident Three

They came and SIL rushed upstairs to "her" room with a bag of things. Rachel was with her and Rachel told her that that room is not only hers but theirs too. They were talking and Rachel shouted for me saying that SIL is putting things up on the wall. SIL standing at her halve of the room asking me "Is THAT their study room?" I replied "Yes" and I walked off, not wanting to talk to her.

When I came back out, I met her at the stairs and she stomped passed me and showed me her white eyes!! What the shit she think she is!!! Yet, I still kept my cool. Only after they left did I know that she actually cried and complained to PIL and hubby that I said that room was not hers!! When did I said that!!! I only says "yes" to her question if half of the room belongs to the girls!! Hubby said that though SIL is rude but by what I said, I was the one that started the provocation!! He went on to give a stupid example "if you stared at someone and got beaten up, when the police question you, you think you did not do anything which provocate the other person, but by staring, you are asking for trouble."

Pulling My Hair Out

We had the biggest argument that night since we moved in!!!

What made matter worst is the next day, MIL brought SIL to hubby's office and do what she is best at. She made SIL apologise to him and MIL told hubby to "forget about it" and don't pursue the incident with me anymore. Hubby interpret that MIL is scared of me but I know her well. Its not she is scared of me, she is trying to be the Mrs Nice in front of him. And by telling hubby to forget about the incident meant that I was in the wrong and they are forgiving me!!!! ARHhhhh...super angry!!

Throughout the week, the tension in our house was so high. Any mentioned of SIL's name will see both of us really to "fight" in words. It really affected me and I totally have no more mood to cook or do anything. I tried to talk myself out of this anger but I really was mad.

Then, Hubby commended one night that the food was so boring, every day the same stuff. My reply to him was "when a woman gave up the kitchen, it also means the woman had given up on the family" He knows this time I was truly angry. After dinner that night, I gave him the ultimatum. If he insist on SIL coming in, the children and I will move out. I can't stand the sight of them anymore. I cannot bring myself to be a hypocrite. I am a person that show all my emotion on my face, I cannot pretend to welcome them when they had caused us so many unhappy nights.

Only after the ultimatum was served, hubby finally decided to sit through and talked about the whole thing and addressed my feelings without ending up quarrelling. The decision make that night was, instead building it for our study, we are going to make it as SIL room. The kids and I will use the entire room that was meant to be hers.

Am I being mean? Am I unreasonable? It makes her like Cinderella, sleeping outside the house and me the evil/ cruel stepmother.

They know I am unhappy and didn't come for a while. Our house was peaceful!

Anyway, I can feel the regrets in hubby for asking them in but its too late to say no now. He has been cracking his head for other options to place them but none is financially wise....

Tell me, was I wrong in anyway? Was my decision right?

Latest happening

They came over for dinner and that brat didn't even greeted me!! She see through me as if I wasn't even there!! No greeting when they arrived, no greeting when we start our dinner and no bye-bye when they left!!! If she is angry, so AM I!!!

Friday, December 25, 2009

Our Christmas...

The condo we used to live in organised a Christmas party for the residents and since we are eligible, I registered the kids for the party which was on 18th Dec. The turn out was not as good as last year but that means more chance to go up stage to play games for the girls.

The girls went up stage twice to play the games (though wining nothing) while Nicholas watched.

As usual, they had this Santa appearance and Santa will distribute the presents (which the parents had bought) to the kids. This is the most exciting part for my girls, for they were told that Santa had been "watching" them all year round and will have presents only for the good children. So they were very eager to listen out if their names were being called.

Nicholas was very anxious waiting...but when his name was being called, he refused to go up stage to take his present.

The girls each get a present from "Santa" and they were so excited!!

On 19th Dec, hubby's friend from Malaysia came over for dinner and I wasn't told till the morning itself!! I was so nervous as hubby suggested for me to whip up some Christmas dinner which I totally have never tried before. Moreover, they will be our first official guest to come over to our new place for dinner...*more sweats*... So, I dashed down to the Cold Storage and grabbed the frozen turkey; ham; sausages; salad...and a yummy log cake from Swiss cake. It was my first time roasting stuffed turkey and was so super nervous...I was praying real hard inside that I won't embarrass myself. But they were very nice people..everything I served, they ate as if it was really very yummy. It really flatter me! Dizzy

The girls playing with their new friend in our garden...

On 22nd Dec, hubby suddenly suggested over dinner that we take a MRT down to Orchard Road and soaked into the mood! I was worried off the crowd but surprised to find its manageable. The kids, especially Nicholas, was so excited over the train ride!

Finally Christmas came!! The kids were the most excited ones. FIL and SIL came over for dinner and I made stuffed turkey again! Yup..its really yummy..the meat was not tough but tender and juicy..yum yum! This time, I placed some bacon on top of the turkey to give it some taste.

Made some baked scallops with cheese too. A new dish I tried today.

After ice-cream, the kids couldn't wait to unwrap their presents.

How can we leave Baby Ryan out of this , right?!

A family photo in front of the Christmas tree.

See those Thomas and Friend's shoes on his feet? He just couldn't resist wearing them right away!

And this present is from Santa @ the Condo's party. His favourite digger! See how happy he was?! He even pose for the photo take which was really rare!

And what's my Christmas's present? My best present is FINALLY, my baby can sit in the car seat for short distance drive (20minutes so far) without crying!!! Isn't it great news! YIPPEE!!! I can at least have my sanity back when I have to ferry the kids around!!

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Merry Christmas!!

His school taught him this song for their In-House Christmas celebration performance.

Amazing that he can remember the entire song! I can even sing pass the 5 Golden Rings..everytime we have to look at him to give us the lyrics!

Leave this video to all of you and Wish You All A Merry & Blessed Christmas!!

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Hollywood Dinos! Here We Come!!

Nicholas's school organised an excursion to the Jurong Bird Park to visit the Asia first Hollywood Dinos. I decided to sign the 2 girls up too. The kids were very excited and we talked about it the entire week, reading up about Dinosaurs. He was cooled about it and in fact looking forward to seeing the Dinosaurs.

But he got panicky once he saw the first Dino, a Stegosaurus. It didn't help with the dino moving and jumping by "itself"! He cling on to me tightly..he thought that was real!! Even after I explained to him that its not real, he still insisted it is... "No! They are real, not toys! See, the dinosaur can move and jump by itself! I'm scared, mommy!" I explained to him that it was controlled by those uncles in the tent, just like how he control his fire engine with the remote, but he doesn't buy that...*sigh*

Can't remember the name for this one...

They had "actors" there at the cave, one with head beaten off by a T-rex and another dropped into the water at the floating bridge. The girls really enjoyed it! Oh..forgot to mentioned that Nicholas was too frighten and I didn't want to scare him any further, thus handed him to his teacher who had just came out of the "cave". So he did not see all these special effects.

Its not the same as the Dinosaur exhibition years ago at the Science centre. Those were "dead" but these are "alive".

My dear boy enjoys better with the birds...the timid ones were playing happily with the black swan when we came out.

The tour supposed to take about 30 minutes but there's only 1 attraction. The rest of are booths selling stuffs with one or 2 dinosaurs to see along the way. The walk in the cave lasted less than 10 minutes! But I must say the experience is worth the money.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Botanica Garden - Trees Of The World Light-Up

We had wanted to join the Botanical Party on 5th Dec but daddy had to prepare for his overseas trip and thus, we waited for him to be back to check out the Botanical Garden - Trees of the World Light-up.

We had a quick and early dinner and drive down to Botanical Garden. The deco at the Visitor's Centre is nice and the girls love those lights dangling down from the trees.

As the path leads, we saw Christmas trees decorated by different countries, schools and associations. Most of them lack creativity, they look just like how we would decorated our Christmas tree. Only a few really stood out, one of them is from a landscape company, below.

We should have come on the opening night itself..more fun to walk with music in the background. (On the opening night, there was a concert performance). But nevertheless, we had a good walk...good exercise after dinner. By the time we were done, its past 9pm and daddy gave the kids a treats at Swensen. That really light-up the kids' face!

Friday, December 4, 2009

Thomas & Friends Live! On Stage

Saw on newspaper months back that Thomas the Tank Engine will be performing in Singapore and without delay, we got the tickets to this little boy's favourite show.

We only told him about it yesterday as we do not want him to "wait" so long to meet the engine Live. I told him that he has to be a good boy in order to watch Thomas and I'm proud to say he is. He kept telling me the whole day that he is a good boy, so can I bring him to watch Thomas?

Though its not in cartoon form, but little darling enjoys every single moments, especially when Thomas and Percy appeared.


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